普通话不标准的段子精选

1、When you quarrel with a close friend, talk about the main dish, don’t quibble over the appetizers. 当你和你亲近的人吵嘴的时候,试着就事论事,不要扯出那些陈芝麻、烂谷子的事。

2、Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. 不要着急,最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。

3、No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won‘t make you cry. 没有人值得你流泪,值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。

4、No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make you cry. 没有人值得你流泪,值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。

5、Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛。

6、Don’t let a little dispute break up a great friendship. 不要让小小的争端损毁了一场伟大的友谊。

7、One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。

8、Don‘t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. 不要着急,最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。

9、Don‘t waste your time on a man\/woman, who isn‘t willing to waste their time on you. 不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间。

10、It’s like you are back from the dead. 好像你是死而复生似的。

11、Use your crystal goblets. Do not save your best perfume, and use it every time you feel you want it. 举起你的酒杯吧。

12、God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。

13、The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

14、It only needs early cultivation to become a power. 只需及早培养,记忆自会成为一种才能。

15、Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道。

16、Who shuts love out, in turn shall be shut out from love. “谁拒爱于门外,也必将被爱拒诸门外。

17、When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world. 如果这个世界对你不理不睬,你也可以这样对待它。

18、Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好。

19、The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can‘t have them. 失去某人,最糟糕的莫过于,他近在身旁,却犹如远在天边。

20、Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡。

21、Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. 现在的梦想决定着你的将来,所以还是再睡一会吧。

22、Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

23、Don‘t cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 不要因为结束而哭泣,微笑吧,为你的曾经拥有。

24、Forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times, and the confused times. 真正的朋友会与你一同度过困难、伤心和烦恼的时刻。

25、Remember: Whatever happens, happens for a reason. 记住:任何事情的发生都有因有起。

26、Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡。

27、I’m only brave when I have to be. Being brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble. 我只是在必要的时候才会勇敢,勇敢并不代表你要到处闯祸。

28、Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。

29、If you fail, don’t forget to learn your lesson. 如果你失败了,千万别忘了汲取教训。

30、You can’t change the past. 过去的事是不可以改变的。

31、Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。

32、小谢是储蓄所的营业员,她说的普通话不标准。

33、Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 不要因为结束而哭泣,微笑吧,为你的曾经拥有。

34、A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网,它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。

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